Dear editor,
We often say we want our boys to be strong, but too often, what we really mean is silent. From the time they are small, boys are told not to cry, not to show fear, not to appear “soft.” They grow up hearing phrases like “man up” and “boys don’t cry.” But beneath those expectations are real children with real feelings – boys who, research shows, actually express emotions just as deeply, sometimes even more deeply, than girls.
When we teach them to hide those emotions, we don’t make them stronger. We make them learn to suffer quietly. And the cost of that silence shows up later in life, in men who struggle to communicate, who find it difficult to connect with others, or who don’t know how to ask for help when they’re hurting.
This problem doesn’t start at home alone. It is woven into our education system. Boys often learn differently from girls. Many boys need movement, discovery, and hands-on activities to thrive. But in many schools in Guyana, the expectation remains the same: sit still, stay quiet, conform. And when they can’t, we label them “disruptive” instead of recognizing their strengths.
As a parent, I’ve seen this up close. My toddler was moved from school to school just to find one that didn’t see him as a burden. Teachers told me he might have ADHD, yet this same child could read above his age level, do basic math with ease, and has a natural love for music – especially the piano, which he proudly attempts to play at just four years old. His mind is bright, curious, alive. But the system didn’t see that. It only saw a child who didn’t fit the mold.
This is not to say our girls don’t deserve attention, they absolutely do. Our daughters need the same nurturing, flexible, forward-thinking education that helps them grow into confident, capable young women. But understanding girls’ needs should not mean overlooking the very real needs of boys. Both deserve empathy, patience, and support. Both deserve to be taught in ways that honor who they are.
As a nation, it’s time to let go of outdated ideas about how boys should behave and how children should learn. Education should be more than memorization and rigid rules. It should be about truly seeing our children, understanding how their minds work, and helping them grow into their best selves.
Boys are not “too much” or “too wild” or “broken.” They simply learn differently and there’s nothing wrong with that. If we keep forcing them into boxes that were never meant for them, we risk losing generations of creative, compassionate, capable young men.
Real progress begins when we stop trying to make every child fit the same pattern and instead create schools, homes, and communities where every child can thrive in the way that is natural to them. When we allow boys to be emotional, curious, and uniquely themselves, we aren’t weakening them. We’re giving them room to grow.
Sincerely,
ChildLink Inc.
