By Dr Mark Devonish
And rumours abound that numerical elastication was causing an electoral kerfuffle at GECOM. But such rumours, not unsurprisingly fell on deaf ears since matters of numerical deformations are not virgin territory at this institution. On the contrary, any whisper of numerical perversion, or the mere thought of it, would inevitably excavate from deep within our cerebral cortices that infamous character, Gocool Boodhoo. In fact, the aforementioned dramatis personae once occupied Lowenfield’s throne but astonishingly when uncloaked was found to be a Freedom House mole. And for this reason, the unmasked masquerader did reinforce our strongly held suspicion that he is an unashamed double agent that was caught twice performing electoral three card prestidigitation in the name of PPP. But surreptitiously, the untrustworthy bespectacled electoral enchanter, was on round the clock surveillance by Scotland Yard’s finest; an ingenious Colonel and an eagle eyed Professor. And on the release of their, off the Richter scale earth shattering evidentiary investigatory dossier, forced was the embarrassed man to face the media with doctored party seat allocations and fake SOPs.
Lord Beepat, Scholar of Revisionist History
But just as our thoughts were sluggishly divagating from Boodhoo’s numerical voodoo, our auditory canals were pummelled by a raucously thunderous, James Earl Jones type vocals. And in a strangely exaggerated James Bond mannerism, the cacophonous voice introduced the silhouetted regal-looking figure, elegantly poised on a golden throne, as Beepat. Lord Roy Beepat. And with the throne lowered on the transparent crystallised platform, the burly lackeys duly informed us that Lord Roy Beepat is blue blooded, of distinguished stature and of extraordinarily good repute, so much so that not dissimilarly to Atlas the Titan, he burdened himself with the perpetuation of the world’s democracy. Withal, the burly lackeys apprised us of Lord Beepat’s patriotism when he rendered one and all, in the pursuit of democracy, persona non grata at his Giftland Mall. Abundantly bewildered we were as to the rationale underpinning Lord Beepat’s altruism but this was immediately remedied in Lord’s Beepat unique asseveration, of the urgency of sacrificing consequential estates for the restoration of democratic principles. Thus it became inescapable to the multitude that Lord Beepat’s illuminating Socratic intellectualism was speechlessly reverential, hitherto for centuries they were restricted to limited plebeian, analphabetic and ineloquent discourse.
For it is without doubt that Lord Beepat, amour propre distinguished Scholar of Revisionist History, was of a lordly pedagogue for gullible plebs who hungered for his distorted exegesis of historical facts. But as a renown Scholar of the related Historical Negationism, most rightly thought that an explication of such principles, during quotidian pontifications, would unquestionably be dwarfed by his intellectual ethnocentrism. On the contrary, this elementary endeavour turned out to be the intellectual kryptonite, for want of a better term, for Lord Beepat, who uncharacteristically struggled to elucidate a solitary example of an undemocratic act. And in an attempt to eternally extricate himself from this intellectual cul-de-sac, Lord Beepat in the most overtly unrepentant and dishonest intellectual adventurism, endeavoured to have such an example forever readied on his forked tongue. But in so doing, Lord Beepat revealed his penchant for intellectual athleticism by stupendously, if not stupidly, leaping from 2020 directly to the 1960’s, when most of us were mere pre-fertile seminal fluid and ovarian matter. But conventional wisdom has it that Guyana’s history is one of perennial accusations of electoral rigging that was only favourably ruled on once, depending where on the political divide you sit, by an iron-fisted Judge, in 1997. But Lord Beepat inexplicably dismissed 1997 and the associated 23 murderous years as manifestations of undemocratic acts since inescapable in their DNA was his beloved PPP. But the 1960’s and 28yrs thereafter, that Lord Beepat hastily accentuated with jaundiced eyes, was Burnham’s. And Burnham, who had amassed over 1400 phantom related murders, was PNC. Therefore, Burnham who unforgivingly denied Indo-Guyanese Ambassadorial appointments for 23 discriminatory years, was evil on account of his lineage. As a result, vilifications of Burnham by Lord Beepat et al, during the election impasse and anytime of their twisted choosing, was justified as a consequence of Lord Beepat’s body of work on Revisionist History.
A little boy edifies Lord Roy Beepat on politics
But being Darwinian read, Einsteinian educated, Solomonian wise and a Galileian intellectual provocateur, I questioned the evidence underpinning the disputation that democracy is a unipolar abstract concept of ballots and boxes, as Lord Beepat endeavoured to indoctrinate us. For hypothesised I did that democracy is akin to the coronavirus virus, for want of a better analogy, with a central globular body encircled by multiple indispensable, elongated, equidistant, and life sustaining tentacles. And these tentacles speak to freedom of speech. Freedom of assembly. Political freedom. Legal equality. Right to life. Rights of minorities. Human rights. Rule of law. Right to petition. Right to due process. Right to civil liberties. Separation of powers. Free and fair elections. For unmissable during the past four months was the destruction of our democracy under Lord Beepat’s illegitimate PPP Government. In fact, I’m abundantly confident that pervasive political persecution cannot be democratic. Yet they climb those court steps daily. Legal inequality cannot be democratic. Yet the de facto Attorney General criminal charges were wiped cleaned, thanks to the DPP. The right to life was denied to four young men. Surely that cannot be democratic. Human rights violations of political prisoners. Surely that cannot be democratic. Hundreds of Afro-Guyanese government contracts unilaterally terminated, without due process. Surely that cannot be democratic. The police and the judiciary under the control of the executive. Surely that cannot be democratic.
Democracy champions vocal cords palsy
Unbelievably, none of these lacerations of our democracy drew the attention of our Champions of Democracy. Giftland Mall remained open, welcoming customers like the Prodigal son. Probably Lord Beepat has become too aged for these democracy disputations. Hence meditating I was on this paradigm shift in attitude of those once vocal democracy champions, when unexpectedly my Swami Vivekananda type levitation was jolted by none other than the de facto Attorney General who staggeringly, maybe alcohol related, made an unsolicited pronouncement-“There will be no Local Government elections.” And this declaration immediately had me befuddled for wondered I did from whence this legal fiat emanated that empowered him to make such public pronouncement on behalf of Godly GECOM? So expectantly I sat, with great anticipation of a severe public literary reprimand by the Iron Lady of GECOM, Chairwoman Justice Claudette Singh. But none was forthcoming. As a result, many now question if she too has become an anatomical appendage of the cabal.
For painfully, in the recent past, we have experienced this denial of Local Government elections. For 16 years we were denied. 16 years we were denied our democracy. 16 years we were denied our LGE. And as expected, Lord Beepat and his Guardians of democracy were all silent like a church mouse. But strangely the Giftland Mall continues to give. Megawatts of electrical power, that is, to the Government at $34M a month. So it is not beyond the realms of possibility that with all the electrical cable entanglements, Lord Beepat might have inadvertently caused himself to be at the receiving end of an Electroconvulsive Therapy(ECT). This I suspect, reset his geriatric brain to that point when democracy was nonexistent (1992-2015). And this alternative postulation, I am inclined to propose, will necessitate application of the recently discovered micro-electrical forces. For it is theorised that alternating currents which are generated by Brobdingnagian electromagnetic fields that are derivatives of electromechanical generators can result in electrical quanta when consolidated, with micro-electrical forces being the unexpected result. These micro-electrical forces are known to have deleterious effects, in prolonged exposures, on in vitro neurons by irreversibly interrupting their myelinated sheets. With this aforementioned microscopic neurolysis, Lord Beepat’s cerebral circuitry would have been likely irreversibly disabled at it’s default point of “a stupid little boy who doesn’t understand democracy.” And frustrated you must be on the poverty in clarity on Lord Beepat’s lack of enthusiasm for his beloved democracy but I can assure you that for many a nights, I aggressively wrestled with these impenetrable neurological complexities but struggled I did to hypothesise a more illogically logical elucidation of Lord Beepat’s amnesia.
And our ballot box guardians, compatriats of Lord Beepat, that occupy the lowest rung of the democracy hierarchy should beyond doubt be isolated in the museum for the irretrievable imbeciles. For it is known to all but sadly not to them, that they are undeniably a cohort of clueless and cerebral cortex deprived cretins. Wherefore, as Covid roamed the desolate streets and most wisely locked themselves indoors, this lot asininely thought that guarding ballot boxes that had a minimum of ten unbreakable locks, demonstrated Pythagorean type wisdom. And not satisfied with their fatuous nocturnal pursuit, they went even further to witlessly instructing deadly Covid to have a moratorium on any bodily assault, until such time as they would have been served their tranche of democracy. So with this level of cretinous anencephalic restricted intellectual emptiness, we did not anticipate much. And much was not offered.
And then the Ambassadorial quartet, soon to be threesome must be recognised for their democracy contributions. For only recently, they were like echolalia parrots, repeatedly babbling democracy democracy democracy, but now have gone unusually quiet even as democracy is bawling blue murder, right under their noses. For it is without much doubt that their newly acquired symptoms of phantosmia and anosmia, can be Covid related. As a result, many are forced to conclude, rightly or wrongly, that they have gone into self isolation, hanging their heads in collective shame, on account of the undemocratic electoral shenanigans emanating out of the Land of the Free and the home of the Carters.
Will the real democracy champions please standup
So once again democracy is not being served on our political plates. For Lord Beepat is happily banking his monthly $34M worth of democracy, thanks to his beloved PPP. Most of the Guardians of Democracy would struggle, without close supervision, to recite the alphabet hence we rather not be guided by them.The quartet of ambassadors are unlikely to be of any benefit unless there is restoration of their senses of smell for undemocratic acts. Therefore once again, we are forced to stand alone fighting for democracy while the democracy champions recuperate from their recent self serving travails. But we fear not for such battles, for without a doubt, 23 years of persecution has prepared us. For those 23 years have made us battle hardened with vocals stronger than that of the Israelites in the Battle of Jericho. And our will to succeed is equally unmatched as undeterred, for within our beating hearts are the indomitable spirits of our ancestors. And so today we stand to forewarn the PPP and those quasi-democracy champions that the definition of democracy has not changed. It’s semantic is unchanged as the Greeks meant it to be. The multitude will have their inked index finger, by any means necessary. The multitude will have their Local Government Elections, by any means necessary. For democracy is not selective. Democracy is democracy and we will have it by any means necessary.
