Frequent news reports about violent relationships, some of which have resulted in persons being maimed or dying, must end not in reporting but behaviour. Every person abused by their partner is one too much. The world, including Guyana, has come a far way from the days when men were considered superior and women their property. Achievement of equal rights does not only mean women working out of the home and voting, but it also means they should not be violated or treated as inferior.
It should be a matter of history to accept the belief love means allowing oneself to be abused by a partner. Famed calypsonian, Mighty Sparrow lyrics-“Every now and then you have to knock them down/They love you long and they love you strong/Black up they eye bruise up they knee/Then they will love you eternally” though viewed as display of masculinity or “love,” and acceptance by women that “if he doesn’t beat me, he doesn’t love me” should be of the past.
The United Nations (UN) defines violence against women as “any act of gender-based violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual, or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.”
Work done by successive governments and non-governmental organisations to eliminate spousal/relationship, laudable it be, much remains to be done. There is no magic bullet or one-size fit all in dealing with abusive behaviours. The issue remains complex in our society where conditions such as poverty, sole breadwinner, unemployment, fear, and cultural predisposition remain challenges to confront in domestic relationships.
The power dynamic cannot be overlooked. Guyana is no stranger to influential public figures, including at the highest office, abusing their spouses and sections of society turned a blind eye or sought to excuse it. When any society is conditioned to think the powerful can get away with violence, but the ordinary man is condemned or charged it becomes harder to stop the violence. It also emboldens the ordinary man to believe he can act likewise and get away with it. Violence is a crime. It should matter not who does it but the fact that it is unlawful and the perpetrators deserving of facing the full brunt of the law.
Socio-economic deprivation makes it harder for the abused to leave because of dependency on the abuser. Relatives and friends also encourage staying in abusive relationships out of fear that the abused circumstance could be worse, and it is ‘better to stay and bun than cut and run.’ Pride is another factor as the abused suffers in silence rather than seek help. There is a need to topple these myths and seek help, including reporting to the police. There has been improvement by the Guyana Police Force from the days when they refused to intervene or advised the abused and abuser to “make up.”
About 1,787 cases of domestic violence were reported to the Police in 2018 based on the last yearly figure available. Guyanese know gender-based violence leads to suicide, which for many is the only way out, and our suicide rate is the highest in the world. UN Women Caribbean webpage reports, “1 in every 2 women in Guyana has or will experience Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) in their lifetime.” This figure is astounding and speaks to a behaviour that is criminal and unacceptable. Said page stated a national survey in Guyana on gender-based violence “revealed that more than half (55%) of all women experienced at least one form of violence, [and] more than one in ten have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from a male partner in the past 12 months.”
Often domestic violence is inflicted on the vulnerable. Vulnerability is not necessarily about who has the money or perceived physical power it can also be emotional (mental). There are instances where the partner who has the economic and or physical power is emotionally abused by the other. Emotional violence has to do with the abuser using words to belittle and humiliate. In Guyana, both men and women are often more affected by this type of violence.
Domestic violence is a public health threat in Guyana. It must stop. This means domestic violence must no longer be their business- i.e. the abused, abuser and their loved ones-but our business. Guyanese women should not have to be living a life of fear and violence and view suicide as a worthwhile alternative out of misery. Women are society’s nurturers, and they are equal to men. They deserve nothing less than respect, to be treated as human beings and not the drum (physical, emotional or otherwise) of any to beat. When a woman is affected her family is affected, when the family is affected society is affected, when society is affected development is affected.
