By Mark DaCosta- In part I of this series it was noted that many Guyanese families remain emotionally and physically close across multiple generations, throughout life. However, while that fact may make it easier for adult children to care for an elderly parent, there are factors in Guyana that could make such an arrangement quite challenging.
For example, in Guyana the concept of retirement is vague and not well “defined.” For instance, a person who has worked in the military or police force may retire. Unlike in some territories, though, that Guyanese may take up employment in a related field such as a security guard service. This may be because of a lack of savings owing to a small salary in the public service. This lack of financial savings could put stress on the adult children whenever the aging parent can no longer work.
At this point it should be noted that whenever experts talk about caring for an elderly parent, the expert usually has a wide range of activities in mind. Caring for a parent does not have to involve total care such as feeding and changing diapers, it could mean simply checking on the wellbeing of the parent regularly.
The lack of social support services for both the caregiving adult child and the aging parent can cause unnecessary stress all around. The adult child may have minor children of their own, a spouse, pets, a mortgage, and so one. It is unfortunate and inexplicable that Guyanese authorities have given very little attention to the provision of social support mechanisms.
Dr. Leslie Kernisan, a practising American physician and researcher on aging has written that many older people are quite independent. Guyanese are aware that there are a large number of elderly vendors, security guards, and other workers. That is a fact whether it reflects poorly on Guyana or not is for each Guyanese to decide.
On the other hand, Dr. Kernisan also states the following:
“[However], family members sometimes find themselves having to take on quite a lot. This is often due to health issues affecting the older person’s ability to remain independent and manage various aspects of life.
Some situations that commonly bring this on include:
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An older person starting to develop dementia such as Alzheimer’s or a related condition
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Advanced chronic illnesses that limit daily function and/or cause frequent hospitalisations, such as advanced heart failure, advanced chronic pulmonary disease, or a progressive neurological condition
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Sudden disability after a fall, stroke, or other health emergency
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Difficulty recovering from a hospitalisation, especially if the older person experienced delirium or other complications
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Advanced age, which can eventually bring on general frailty and loss of physical strength. Very advanced age also tends to bring on more noticeable age-related cognitive changes, and is a strong risk factor for developing dementia as well.
Ms. Connie Chow, founder of the support organisation DailyCaring wrote: “[Caregivers should] Think about 8 key areas of support needed by aging parents:
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Family support
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Home safety
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Medical needs
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Cognitive health
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Mobility
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Personal hygiene
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Meal preparation
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Social interaction
“How much support are they already getting in each category and how much help do they realistically need to stay safe and healthy?”
Importantly, Ms. Chow emphasised the need for caregivers to be aware of their own needs and abilities.
She wrote:
“Everyone is in a different place in their lives.
“Before you make the assumption that you can take care of all your parent’s needs by yourself, stop and think about your own situation and abilities.
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Does your health allow you to physically care for someone?
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Do you live close enough to visit as often as needed?
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Would you want to live with them, either in their house or yours?
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Do you have the kind of relationship that allows you to spend a lot of time together without creating a lot of negative feelings on either side?
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Do you have the personality to provide the type of care they need?
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Are you willing to learn how to provide that care?
We want our parents to be safe and healthy. And it’s not selfish or heartless if you are not the best person to personally provide that care.
“By looking out for their health and safety and arranging the help they’ll need, you’re still being a supportive and caring child.
“It’s best to make an honest assessment early in the process so you don’t get yourself into a situation that’s not sustainable.
“If you take on too much and burn out physically or emotionally, you won’t be able to help your parent or yourself.”
