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By Michelle Joseph-Growing up in Guyana was always the best place on earth. I could not imagine being in a different place. My childhood was not perfect, the shortcomings though, added to the optimism I always had in my heart. One does not have to be born with a gold or silver spoon in one’s mouth to be happy. When people who are around you show love and respect, in and around their households, that is truly a great place to be. However, it is unfortunate that not everyone shares the same faith.
There was one issue that always puzzled me in Guyana amongst Guyanese women. There was ever present physical abuse. I have seen women being abused in all different aspects, verbally, mentally and physically. Growing children watched their mothers being abused. There were times when I witnessed women being abused on the streets. This has been an ongoing phenomenon. In cases whereby, women were being physically abused by men, they often seemed so helpless. When encouraged to contact the police, they always appeared so afraid of what might happen to them. Some women even developed a false sense of hope, implying that the very abusers loved them.
My message to women out there is to stand up for yourselves. Unless you have faith in yourselves and allow your issues to be raised, things will only worsen. There is the law in Guyana which is against physical abuse. Use that law, because you have the freedom to do so. Make it your duty to find out about organisations which offer guidance and support for women who have specific issues. Women tend to remain in relationships that involve abuse. This is because in many cases, their self-esteem is so low. They believe that the circumstances they face cannot be improved. You can often hear them say “When I leave what will I do?” or “Where will I go?” “Where there is a will there is a way.” We, as women have to want to do better, hence we must think that we can do better.
At this stage, all of the above mentioned may sound like women versus men in a negative way. Some may want to portray me as a feminist, which I am surely not but I felt the need to highlight these issues first.
There is another kind of abuse which I think needs to be tackled. The issue of women abusing men. In a lot of cases, women are the ones, verbally, mentally and physically attacking men. In the same way, it is perceived as bad when done to women, it is equally the same when men encounter the problem.
We know that men have big egos. Is this the reason why this type of abuse is not mentioned very often? The law authorities must be more open to this scenario. Men should not be afraid to speak out against abuse from women. Men tend to deal with this scenario by going out with their friends, whether to the pubs, clubs or even by working longer hours. This as a result can hamper family activities.
However, both sexes have an equal role to play. Good communication is a great way to start building good relations among the sexes. Let us not be oblivious to the needs of others. We can work together, so we must put our best foot forward to do so.
Last, but definitely not least, we must strive to love and respect the people around us. Whether it is our husbands, our children, parents or all other human beings. Above all our differences, races, colours or backgrounds, let us all reach for the acknowledgement of oneness.
