This is one for the Grammies. The Oscars. The Emmies. Whatever!

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Dear Editor,

So Apparently, the PPP Police did some Chinese arithmetic, in a dark room, to arrive at the conclusion that Guyana is safer than the White House. And as anyone with a brain would’ve anticipated, this Virgin Mary miraculous news stunned the masses, so much so that the Caribbean Heart Imitator (CHI), saw an exponential increase in clients, at US$10,000 a heart.

Nonetheless, despite the consequential spike in cardiac maladies, the PPP blind, mute and deaf went out to defend this yet another PPP oral excretion. Thus, most foolhardy, to the Stabroek Market Clock area they ventured, with life savings in gold and diamond, on full display, only to be greeted by a welcoming party, disguised in balaclavas.
But apparently PPP failed to inform the American, Say All Lynch, about the dark room Chinese arithmetic. As a result, armed with recount numbers, she ventured to the Jesus mountaintop, to inform all and many that PPP Guyana is much more dangerous than Snake Island.

Then with attention secured, Say All Lynch advised if visiting or living in the 83,000sq miles, avoid walking on your own. Avoid inadvertently revealing your American twang, when speaking. Avoid being outdoors after mosquitoes have commenced feeding. Avoid flashing American currency or flour bread. Avoid any attire with name brand cloths. Avoid wearing gold and diamonds or anything that could be mistaken for same. Avoid the hellish HQC. Avoid the Stabroek Market Clock area. Avoid buying plantains for that maybe interpreted as wealth. Avoid this place if you can, but if avoid you can’t, comply with the aforestated avoidance avoiders.

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And with that, Say All Lynch descended, to be greeted by the well fed overgrown PPP garbage rats, even as many were bloated with fear that she will be deemed a naysayer, to be visited by the Feral Blaster. But that wasn’t to be, for most surprisingly, the one who said if he’s deemed to be a fool, having not acknowledged to be a fool, then most certainly he is a fool, didn’t register Say All Lynch, in the Virgin President(VP), Naysayer Black Book.
Nevertheless, the masses tried their best to digest the contrasting hot and cold messages. But then most inexplicably, the PPP Police, apparently after a good sleep, or more likely the consumption of weed seized from the starving many, flooded the very streets, the week prior, they pronounced as safe. As would be expected, many were perplexed with the conflicting messages, hence demanded clarity. But clarity wasn’t to be, as the Build to Burn Minister was too consumed planning the inferno schedule, for the second half of 2022, thus unavailable to be interviewed by Isobel Yeung.

Regards
Dr. Mark Devonish



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