Dear Editor,
We often think about the world in which our children are growing up, but more importantly a world where children are safe everywhere, where girls and women are treated with dignity, and where respect is not a privilege but a basic right. But if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll realize that this world won’t magically appear, it has to be built.
When we talk about ending violence against women and girls, we often focus on laws, police response, or public awareness campaigns. These are all important. But if we look closer, we’ll see that some of the most dangerous beliefs are the ones that excuse violence or keep women silent – are deeply rooted inside our very homes. Not always through words, but through what we show, what we ignore, and what we accept.
Here is an example: a young boy watches his father raise his voice at his mother and learns that this is what strength looks like. A little girl sees her brother praised for being assertive, while she’s told to be “quiet” and “good,” and she starts to believe her voice matters less. A mother, doing her best to hold the family together, does all the household work, while her son never lifts a finger, because “boys don’t do that.” These small things may seem harmless to some, but they are the roots of something much deeper.
Violence doesn’t begin with a slap or a shove. It begins with the belief that one gender is more valuable than the other, or that control is love – or perhaps, a Guyanese favorite: that silence is strength. These ideas take hold early, and they are hard to undo if they’re all a child ever sees or hears.
If we want to end gender-based violence, we must raise our children differently. We must show our sons that being a man is not about power or control, but about kindness, responsibility, and respect. We must teach our daughters that they never have to shrink themselves to keep others comfortable about their feelings, their safety, and their dreams which are all important.
This starts with how we speak to them, how we treat each other in front of them, and what we model as acceptable behavior. A father doing laundry, a mother taking time for her own well-being, parents making decisions together, these things do matter. They show children that equality is not just a word we use on posters, but a way of life.
If we went door to door in communities to talk about domestic violence, almost everyone would likely say they don’t support male violence against women, that it’s morally and ethically wrong. But if we then explain that we can only end male violence by challenging patriarchy and that means rejecting the belief that men should have more rights or power simply because of biology, that’s when the agreement starts to fade.
There’s a gap between the values people say they hold and their willingness to connect thought with action, and theory with practice, to truly live those values. But closing that gap is the only way we can build a more just society.
So how do we break the cycle? By breaking generational cycles, rewriting masculinity, and helping boys access the strength that comes from healing, not suppressing. By teaching our children that standing up for what is right and having a voice is important.
Sincerely,
ChildLinK Inc.
