Dear Editor,
In a world where children are suffering the most, we as adult carers have to try harder to be present and provide better protection for our children. More and more, we see stories of children wandering the streets and young girls being exposed to exploitation. How can we allow this idealized culture to quietly exist in our communities – the culture where mothers, out of desperation or misguided beliefs, encourage their underaged daughters to enter into inappropriate relationships with older men in exchange for financial support?
This is not love. This is not protection. And it is not survival. It is exploitation – in the most horrid ways possible. We already know the story that usually follows: “We are poor. We don’t have food. We need help.” Poverty is real. Many families in Guyana face daily struggles just to make ends meet, nonetheless, many of those poor families are very protective of their children. However, this is not the case for a growing number of girl children/teens. The adults in their families lack basic parental skills and are supportive of very harmful behaviours whilst blaming poverty. Poverty is not, and must never be, an excuse to give away a child’s innocence. When we do, we are not helping our children—we are harming them in the deepest way possible.
What happens to these young girls who are handed over to men, or are encouraged in these arrangements? At first, there may be money, food, or temporary security, but beneath that surface lies trauma. These girls grow up believing their bodies are their only currency in life. They are robbed of the chance to dream bigger, to believe in and get a good education, to learn that their worth comes from who they are – not who they can please. Too often, these girls become women with little skills to make a life for themselves and who face domestic violence, emotional scars, and broken spirits. Some even lose their lives at the hands of the very men they were told would “take care of them.”
When mothers support their daughters into these arrangements, they are unconsciously planting the seeds of a cycle of pain. They are unknowingly shaping a future where their daughters may grow up believing that violence is normal, that control is love, and that dependence is the only way to survive. Instead of knowing respect, freedom, and independence, these girls are taught to settle for less than they deserve. And yes, most of the time men are the ones who commit these acts of abuse, and they must be held accountable. But as women, we also have to gently face a hard truth: when we encourage or stay silent about these relationships, we give abusers room to continue.
That does not mean mothers are monsters. It means many mothers have to help their children to choose a better and safer way of life, even though many families are caught in a cycle of desperation, repeating what they saw growing up, or even believing it is the only way to survive. Mothers and caregivers, especially of girls cannot let a cycle of violence continue. We have to recognize the harm it causes and choose differently for the next generation and for our families.
To every mother who was ever felt tempted to make this choice, I want to say: your daughter’s life is worth more than any man’s money. You are her first protector, her first teacher, her first example of what love looks like. When you choose to guard her innocence and nurture her dreams, you are giving her the greatest gift, a chance at a better life, free from all forms of abuse. Instead of teaching our girls to be dependent on others for finances, let us teach them resilience. Let us encourage them to stay in school, to value their voices and freedom, and to believe that they can carve their own path as a young woman. The struggle may be hard, but dignity, wellbeing, and self-worth are priceless values that mothers can help their girl children develop as they grow into womanhood.
This is not an easy conversation to have, but it is a necessary one. As mothers we should truly want to end the cycle of gender-based violence in Guyana, so we must identify and address the feebleness of our parenting and protection approaches within our families. It is in our homes we have to start to address these underlying issues that are making young women more vulnerable to violence and abuse. We must be more open to changing toxic cultural norms and stand firm in protecting our children. Every child deserves a childhood. Every girl deserves the chance to grow up without being preyed upon. And every mother has the power to break this cycle by saying, “No more.”
Yours sincerely,
ChildLinK Inc.
