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Home Columns Mark’s Take

Herein is the PPP report card 

Staff Writer by Staff Writer
January 1, 2023
in Mark’s Take
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2020: Disastrously clueless and unimaginatively brainless. Clearly out of their depth. Not enjoying the confidence of the majority.

2021: Another year of incompetence, with peaking Covid deaths, placing Guyana amongst the worst Covid performances in the Hemisphere.

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A bagga tings

Terrorised Teachers

2022: The year of Jagdeo and Su, with corruption transitioning National to International. Where discrimination now wearing miniskirts, unashamedly exposing all.

Thus, their catastrophes

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Ministry of Deaths
For under their somnolent watch, a death spiralling pandemic, was without a plan.Thus, as bodies piled up, desperate to conceal the evidence, Chief Propagandist, Dr. Lying Ramsammy, was employed. But death spared none, afflicting women with child, thus false promises of thorough investigations, were made.

Then this reality hit like a tonne of bricks— PPP Maternity wards are delivering more deaths than births. As a result, many with the financial security, sought surrogate motherhood and home delivery, in foreign lands. But through this, PPP cared less, spreading propaganda—We will transform every corner-shop, to a Speciality Hospital.

However, with their Ministry of Deaths registering only dead bodies and policies, the World Bank inspected to report—Baby Jesus received better healthcare, in that freezing Jerusalem manger. Then the WHO—This isn’t healthcare, this is hell-care, the worse in this Hemisphere. However, in a national crisis, Dr. Dolittle maintained a do little posture.

Ministry of No Education 
Then the epitome of a numbskull—Even a room of closed windows and doors, on a pitch-dark night, of pitch-dark blackout, in pitch-darkness, would be brighter than Priya Square-Peg. For so hardheaded is she, she knows not first from last. Struggles with elementary reading comprehension. Clueless in basic mathematics.

Nonetheless, in fool’s paradise, she remained confident in the CSEC and CAPE results, despite no schooling for 2yrs. For on the results she prey, hanging onto the top student, like a parasitic tapeworm, desperate to whitewash her failures

Which mean, with the top student announced, the multitudinous failures were hidden by the wicked stepmother, conveniently misunderstanding top student, as she climbs atop the poor 27 subject lad. But this Square-Peg is no catwalk model, which meant, atop the poor child, flashes of George Floyd were his.

However, fortunately for all involved, Square-Peg lacks cardiovascular fitness, as a result, frequent breaks she took. And it was during one of these breaks, Dr. Hudson(CEO) reminded—Most have failed. But Square-Peg dismissed the naysayer, retaking the top to proclaim, “At least the top is mine.”

Then word got to Square-Peg, the teachers were unduly influencing Dr. Hudson. Thus, brutally she intervened, dismissing Dr. Hudson, replacing him with the unqualified Saddam Hussain. Yes, you’ve read right—Saddam Hussain! Which mean, with mustard gas hanging over their heads, the fearful teachers, toed the line.

Ministry of Social Dehiscence
However, this was the narrative told—Barabbas on death row was nailed to a crucifix, alongside Jesus. However, with it being Passover, the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate, was empowered to pardon one. So guided by established customs, of the masses he queried— Jesus or Barabbas? However, on twice questioned, the masses twice pleaded Barabbas freedom. Thus, Pontius Pilot, symbolically washed his hands, acceding to the popular vote, in pardoning Barabbas.

However, a crisis was brewing at the Ministry of Social Dehiscence, but with PPP counting only Barabbases, the masses demanding Barabbas Dr. Virgin Persaud be replaced, were presented with a worse Barabbas, in Priya Square-Peg.

For it appeared, Dr. Virgin Persaud sinned one too many time, bringing the Mandir to the masses, with the masses unable to attend the Mandir. But the traversing cost an arm and a leg, for Pandits regularly exited her office, with bulging anatomies and pockets.

Then with the masses already at the end of their tether, struggled they’d with Dr Virgin Persaud, changing positions, more often than that of a porn star.

But this did it, Dr. Virgin Persaud making decisions based on bedroom moods. For this the masses acknowledged, bedroom moods may work in making love but certainly not in making government policies.

Thus, we query of Dr. Virgin Persaud;

With women facing domestic abuses, where’re the initiatives?
With women being murdered, where’re the initiatives?
With children experiencing daily abuses, where’re the initiatives?
With children hungered, where’re the initiatives?
With children homeless, where’re the initiatives?
For we have six races, not only your Mandir seated race.

Ministry of Blah-Blah Jagdeo
That said, clandestine this registered. Where the word spoken is, Blah-Blah Jagdeo likes it under the table. Which mandated, an under the table investigatory team, comprising a half Chinese, a full Chinese and Chinese Guyanese Su, was established,

But gathering such evidence, necessitated cameras are hidden from Blah-Blah Jagdeo. However, months and ideas were exhausted, when one presented, more cocky than a racehorse, with this outrageous idea, on sneaking cameras past Blah Blah— Put them on a woman, he will never touch her. 

Thus, into Blah-Blah living room they descended, confident that with cameras between her legs, Blah-Blah would’ve zero interest. Nevertheless, Blah-Blah was in one of his blah blah moods, in reassuring all, “Su has my full support.”

However, that mood quickly changed when the full Chinese requested visuals of Blah-Blah, taking it under the table. Which meant, the meeting was abruptly brought to an end, with an irritated Su reminding, such is only for his eyes.

Nevertheless, much more was learnt. Flymoney money laundering. Under the table middlemen, bribing all in PPP. Chinese boasting, zero Covid is more likely than zero PPP corruption. Su boasting of having more gold than Christopher Columbus. Then the shocker, Su owns all of Guyana, so he alone will engage Venezuela.

Therefore, the call was unanimous, the University Dropout should fire Blah-Blah. But astounding was his response, the only fire Blah-Blah would ever face, is hellfire.

What 2023 holds?
However, our hell—Unsolved murders. Corruption. Politicisation of the Police and Judiciary. Jim Crowe discriminations. Cost of living transitioning cost of death. No education in education facilities. Abandoned narcotic planes. Narcotics flying first-class. Political murders. Extrajudicial murders. Which means, like the two previous, 2023 will be another Annus Horibbilis.



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