Prayers for the PPP

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Courage to change the things we can. And wisdom to know the difference. As we live one day at a time. Enjoying one moment at a time. Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace. Taking as he did, this sinful world as it’s, not as we would’ve it. Trusting that he’ll make all things right if we surrender to his will. That we may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with him, forever in the next.

Notwithstanding Lord, even with knees prayer bruised, our sufferings surpass Lazarus. For most agonisingly, death visits us daily. By the Covid. By the criminals. By the cops. Where without Job faith, your existence would’ve been doubted. For Lord we never demand much, would’ve been contented with a fraction of Su’s support, however such is rewarded to theirs, not us.

Prayers for Dr. Ashni Singh

And for this reason, we place Ashni in your healing hands. For inexplicably he would rather tackle Nigel Hinds, but not the PPP increasing cost of living crisis. Now our heart is heavy, having heard his well cultured Queen’s College cut-glass accent, reduced to slurred speech, so much so, excluded he was from the QC racist video, out of concerns he may not remember his lines. Thus, worried we are, he might be under the influence of the Bottle or Bharrat, either way, both are evil spirits that warrant your divine intervention.

Prayers for Bharat Jagdeo

Therefore, we lift Bharrat up to you, testifying that lifting was most gruelling, since his pockets were bulging and weighty. But of his bulging pockets, we pray that you shower VICE with fire and brimstones, for making those outlandish allegations against our Bharrat. For Lord we query. What’s wrong with supporting a friend? What’s wrong in giving the Government a heads up about a friend contract interest? What’s wrong with giving a friend land? What’s wrong with living room consultancy fees? What’s wrong with giving a friend timber? Surely, the friend rewards him with his timber. So what’s wrong in providing a friend accomodation? What’s wrong with flying money? What’s wrong with washing money? For Lord we spent 2 years, Covid cleansing our hands. So what’s wrong with cleaning dirty money? Monies carry Covid too! And what’s wrong with going under the table? He isn’t the first and certainly wouldn’t be the last, to have it under the table. What’s wrong? Wrong? Wrong?

Prayers for Charles Ramson Jr

But Lord, Charles has been a timely blessing. Our only O&G Consultant and Academic. For Lord, he has published extensively, while supervising Phd students, at both Oxford and Cambridge Universities. Therefore, as our pantheon in Oil and Gas, we thought his skills would’ve been utilised by Bharrat. But God that wasn’t to be, for Bharrat coveted all the oil, leaving Charles with only balls. For Lord, why Bharrat needs all that oil? Surely, he should be used to it by now.
And for this reason, we lift Charles and his ginormous ego, up to you. For Lord, he is now ashamed of his balls, obsessing with poles. Thus Budget Day, he had the most elementary of task, to report on numbers playing with his balls. But God, that he failed to do, shocking all in demanding to see Norton Pole. However, Aubrey refused to play ball, emphatically asserting, I would do anything for oil but I wouldn’t do that.

Prayers for Mark Philips

Thus Lord, we turn Mark Philips over to you, since visually challenged is he, succumbing to retinitis pigmentosa. For Lord, he recently had his annual eye examination, with OIL spelt on the Snellen Chart, which he saw.Thereafter, it was MONEY, which he also saw. Then DISCRIMINATION AGAINST AFRO-GUYANESE was spelt, which inexplicably he couldn’t see, even with varifocal lenses.
But unfortunately, Mark Philip’s hasn’t only lost his sight, he has lost his identity. For the PPP induction mandated him being in a 5 years Bleaching Chamber. However, as he bleached, the PPP Police were undertaking target practice on Black youths. And with the Police hitting bullseye with painful frequency, the masses called a protest. But with the established PPP Blacks having had their eyes blinded, they couldn’t see the killings, thus are all silent. As a result, Mark Philips, the least bleached, was instructed to meet the mourning many. However, a scorching day it was, which saw Mark’s skin regaining it’s complexion, thus returning his Black identity to his eyes, of which he reminded the protesting many, angering them all, to break into spontaneous cacophonous chants- This token is taken. This token is taken. This token is taken.

Prayers for the nobodies

Thus, we lift the nobodies. Lifting Robeson Benn, who is too busy with the emotionally distressed, rather than real crimes. Lifting Nigel Dharamlall who needs strong arms to extricate his dildos. Lifting Juan Edghill who has taken tokenism to foolish levels. For he first decreed Jesus vote. Now he has proclaimed, to have our potholes filled, we must vote PPP. So Priya Manickchand, who with backbreaking efforts, we lift up to you. For Lord, she is obsessed with the top, being of little regards to who maybe suffocating at the bottom.

Therefore, Won Guyana we lift up to you. For Lord, you had instructed Moses to lead the Israelites to the Promised land. But Almighty, Moses was burdened with a twisted tongue, thus wasn’t with confidence in speaking to the masses. However Lord, we have one who is both twisted in tongue and brain. For valedictorian is a burden. Reparation is a burden. Turkey is a burden.Toddler level grammar is a burden. Linguistic is a burden. English is a burden. For Lord we exalt you as the God of miracles. Of, which we give thanks for his weight loss. But now we pray you untangle both tongue and brain. But Lord, should that be spiritually impossible, we pray you bless our surgeons’ hands, to surgically remove Juan Edghill’s brain, for a transplantation. For it’s literally untouched. Virgin. Unspoilt. Has never been used.

All praises to you, the Almighty