Dear Editor,
The Kaieteur News story “ExxonMobil hands over ‘blank cheque’ to US court for future violations of Environmental Laws” is fiction of the worst and most laughable kind.
I don’t speak metaphorically. I mean it is literally copied from a story published by the well-known American satirical “news” site The Onion—a comedy website that recently published headlines such as “Report: Your Father Probably Out With One Of His Whores Tonight” and “Cuomo Expresses Deep Regret That Grandma Didn’t Have The Balls To Tough It Out.”
Apparently, Kaieteur News is now in such a frantic rush to dig up any and all negative stories on Exxon that they mistook a story laced with ridiculous and clearly invented quotes and lines as absurd as “At press time, reports confirmed ExxonMobil had given federal regulators a second blank check with the phrase “next offshore spill” scrawled on the memo line.”
Apparently, this is how they imagine lawyers, government regulators and international executives interact. Is this really what Kaieteur’s formerly respected journalists believe now? Do they even care anymore? To blindly copy a joke and present it as news is something I did not think even them capable of, no matter how low the standards for journalism have sunk.
But since this is now the path they’ve chosen; I’d like to direct them to some more hard-hitting news from the same source: “Woman Finally Speaks Enough Spanish To Ask Grandma For Money.”
Someone better get the presses warmed up. Feels like another front-page story in the making.
Yours Respectfully,
Gregory Lynch
